Two of the most influential people from my past reentered my orbit or showed up on radar within about 12 hours of one another. I’m talking these are my Mount Rushmore level characters from my story. Within 12 hours of each other. The first one was shocking. There wasn’t an anger. There wasn’t resentment. There wasn’t a flood of emotions. It was just surprise. It was a happy surprise not a scared surprise, not a ‘what is she scheming’ surprise. I will admit, I went to her instagram right away. That’s a place I haven’t been in a while, but it’s a place I spent way too much time in the past when I shouldn’t have. Aside from going to her Instagram in the first place, I think I passed the test. I didn’t get angry. I didn’t get the heart flutter. I just had a calmness and a happiness. She looks like she has exactly the life she wanted for herself which is cool to see.
Then this morning I see another one of those main characters pop into my field of view, in a very ‘hey it’s me I’m back’ kind of ways. That too gave me a shocked feeling. I didn’t think I’d ever see the day. She looks as good as ever. Gahhh that girl is stunning. I went back and reread some of our messages and I was just blown away that we even ever. But I wasn’t trying to get back there. I wasn’t trying pick up where we left off. I wasn’t reliving the memories. I was just shocked. And also happy.
Is it a growth thing? Has enough time just passed? Or am I just genuinely happy with the way things are now? Is the way this journey is playing out satisfying to me to the point where I’m no longer looking in the rear view mirror like I use to do? I’m not all the way to my complete happiness but I see the path. I’m a lot closer than I’ve been in a while.
Let’s not downplay this. These are critical, key-holding members, main storyline characters, who have had some of the most impactful interactions with my core as a human. And although their reintroduction into my field of view was brief, maybe accidental, but surely not loaded or nefarious, the magic and mystique of the past has dulled the emotional grab a little bit with time. So did I pass the test?
I think I did.
