Relieved but Grateful

When everything started happening a year ago, I was devastated. I wasn’t sure how I was going to get over this, how I was gonna get through this and I didn’t understand why it was happening. Here we are, a little bit over a year later and it’s all starting to make more sense.

They say everything happens for a reason, that God has a bigger plan for us. I still can’t be sure what that plan is, but I am starting to have a little more faith in the process and trusting that things are going the way they’re supposed to.

I wouldn’t be where I am today without my past. I wouldn’t be in the state of peace. I wouldn’t be in the city of Portland. I wouldn’t be the happiest I’ve ever been in my entire life without having gone through some of the saddest and most challenging moments of my life.

I’m tremendously grateful. I’m not bitter. I’m not upset. Maybe I’m a little relieved. You know, because it’s over. I don’t have to endure that pain anymore and I don’t even have to inflict that pain. I get another chance to do the things that I was supposed to do before, but I’m only now realizing their importance.

My past deserves the biggest hug in the world. My past deserves an apology. My past deserves a thank you. my past deserves the best and so does my future. So do I.


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